Thursday, February 21, 2013

2012 Reflection: My Thoughts on Being a Failure

2012 Resolutions (video link)
For the past year, I've been keeping track of progress on these 5 goals. Every month, I would write a reflection on my progress on each goal - much like I'm doing now.

1) Balance Life
2) Martial Arts
3) Patience
4) PUA Lifestyle
5) Art --> Pro Level

1) Balance Life - This goal was about balancing work, play, health, family, friends, myself etc... In 2011 - I was so obsessed about work that I neglected my own health and happiness. 2012 was a journey to find my balance. Some months, I'd spend so much time working out at the gym and relaxing - I wouldn't get much work done. Some months, I would spend so much time hanging out with friends that I neglected my family. Other months, I felt like I just needed to slow down... and breathe. I was experimenting with a mixture of activities in different proportions that would make my life run smoothly and produce the most happiness. There were 12 months of clinical tests. What I found to be the three most important things for me were: health, relationships, and work. This experience would shape my goals for 2013.

Happiness Name Art
Photo taken during my 24th birthday

2) Martial Arts - I've always liked watching Jackie Chan movies - not because I liked the idea of beating someone up - but because I thought martial arts looked beautiful. I believe in living everyday like your last - so I decided I would learn martial arts this year. After watching the movie "Ip Man" - I decided to learning the "Wing Chun." Unfortunately, real life is nothing like the movies. Even kung fu masters cannot compete with the flashy choreography of Hollywood. I realized that this was not what I wanted. I dropped this goal in about 3 months.

3) Patience - This was a pretty vague goal - but I kept with it. My biggest achievements were these goals! Continuously doing something for 12 months? That's amazing! I'm so proud of myself. Patience is still not my biggest strength - but I'm working on it.

Patience Name Art with Flowers and Dolphins
4) PUA Lifestyle - This was my biggest failure as well as my greatest success. PUA stands for "Pick up Artist." If you read "The Game" by Neil Strauss, you know that there is a huge industry that teaches guys how to get girls - just like Will Smith in the movie "Hitch." My situation in 2011 was a scant dating life and a almost non-existent social life. My task was to live a lifestyle where I could meet plenty of girls, hangout with lots of friends (male & female), and overall be very happy, confident and successful. I took the following actions:

- I read many books, articles, and watched many video tutorials on how to talk to women. (One of my favorite resources was

- I asked one of my guy friends - who was really great with women - for help. All the girls loved talking to him - and he gave me lots of good advice that helped me boost my confidence.

- I put myself out there and talked to girls. When I first started out and asked for a girl's number, I would get rejected by girl after girl... And sometimes I would get a girl's phone number, but it wouldn't lead to anywhere, and that happened number after number... If everything went well and I managed to take the girl out on a date - things would go well but quickly fizzle out afterwards. And that happened date after date... Despite all these setbacks - I knew I was quickly improving and tried not to be discouraged.

- I read many self-help books and spent hundreds of hours studying spirituality and listening to such audio tapes. I needed to learn that my value and self-worth was NOT determined by girls! I needed to learn to love and accept myself as I was UNCONDITIONALLY! (This is something I'm STILL working on)
"Inner confidence is living your life consistent with your inner-most values and beliefs, while thinking and acting in harmony with your highest aspirations." - Brian Tracy 
Confidence Fairies Disney
When I started off picking up girls - I was memorizing all these lines and habits that didn't really suit my personality (Below is a funny youtube video that parodies that situation) Deep down, I'm a pretty nice guy. And when I started embracing that, and acting in congruence to my own character - things went so much more smoothly for me.

The result from trying to live a "Pick-Up Artist" lifestyle was that I became really fearless and very apt at handling rejection. Just like when you draw in a sketchbook - you can't be afraid to make mistakes. Also, because I had the opportunity to meet girls from different cities, different schools, different social & economic backgrounds - I became much more open minded having made many new friends. Prior to this year, I have never dated anyone who didn't go to the same school or was a close friend. Lastly, after all this dating, I decided that I wanted to be a relationship with a NICE girl - someone I really cared about and someone who really cared about me.

5) Art to Pro Level - In this goal - I realized I was pursing something I didn't want to do. My focus has been on concept art for video games and movies. Throughout 2012 - I was taking classes and creating portfolio pieces geared towards games and film. I even did some pretty cool freelance projects that were really cool! But I wasn't CRAZY about about monsters, robots or eerie landscapes - I didn't even like video games. If I wanted to do outstanding work - I'd need to be passionate about it!

Theme Park Design. That's what I want! I didn't consider it before because not many of peers were doing it and I didn't know much about that field. So here I am finding out everything there is to know about the industry (link) and building an exceptional theme park illustration portfolio. I'm going to knock them dead!


We aren't taught to celebrate failure. But I do. Failure is a stepping stone to success. I pushed my life off balance to figure out the perfect balance for me. I took up Martial Arts - only to find out that the movie stuff isn't real! Picking up girls was rejection after rejection! And it's all apart of the learning process! Art? I was going down the wrong path - but I had to figure that out first hand.

2012 was the year of failure and it was the best! Failure means success is right around the corner!

I'd like to share with you my NEW 2013 Resolutions. These are called "image boards" and I encourage you to make them for your own dreams and ambitions! Use them as your desktop wallpaper or print them out and look at them everyday!

1) Have Perfect Health: Physically, Spiritually and Mentally
2) Have Happy Healthy & Harmonious Relationships: Friends, Family, Girlfriend and Myself
"All relationships are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself"
3) Money: Make a Million Dollars!
Financial Intelligence is different from career success.
(There are many lawyers, doctors, pro athletes and celebrities that are broke. )
Learn how to make money work for you and you can be very wealthy.
Money is a good thing and can help many people.


  1. Hey Chris, It's nice to see that you are finding yourself and making new goals. If you like theme park design you should see this guy He is a friend of me and work in this field.

  2. Chris, always a pleasure to read your reflections about your journey. It's natural to miss the mark, but like you say it leads to growing and learning, keep it up!

  3. Hey thanks for checking out my blog Johan. I just checked out your blog. Great stuff!